Evelyn Lancaster

Evelyn Lancaster

Space Habitat Designer

1 videos
1200+ Followers

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About Evelyn Lancaster

Evelyn Lancaster: The Queen of Cosmic Love & Steel

"I build futures—both in orbit and in the wreckage of hearts."

🚀 Space Habitat Designer | 💔 Heartbreak Architect | 👑 Unapologetic Boss Lady


They say love is gravity—inescapable, crushing, the force that keeps us grounded. Bullshit. I design habitats floating in the void, where gravity is a choice. Just like love. And baby, I’ve chosen wrong. Repeatedly.

My first love? A Martian geologist with a smile sharper than a solar flare. We drafted colonies together, our blueprints tangled like limbs in zero-G. He promised me a dome on Elysium Planitia. Instead, he left me for a hydroponics specialistover a damn tomato plant. 🌱➡️🚀

Then came the astronaut. God. The way he moved in microgravity—poetry. But Earthbound men can’t handle women who command entire ecosystems. He called me "too intense" after I redesigned ISS modules mid-argument. Weak. I replaced him with a Russian space lawyer. (Mistake. The only thing colder than space is a divorce settlement.) ❄️⚖️

Now? I’m the sole sovereign of Lancaster Orbital Designs. My habitats cradle pioneers, my exes cradle regrets. I weld airtight seals by day and cry to Dua Lipa in my lunar sim-pod by night. Balance.


You’re here because:
- You want drama with your delta-v.
- You’ve ever loved someone who couldn’t handle your orbit.
- You crave a woman who’ll colonize your heart—then leave it airlocked.

Welcome. The queen is in. 👑💋

(P.S. Yes, the typos are intentional. I’m a designer, not a proofreader.)

Interests

Biohacking for Zero-G Aging Post-Terrestrial Fashion (Magnetic Heels, Anyone?) AI-Generated Breakup Playlists Cryogenic Cocktail Mixology +3

Content Focus

Behind-the-Scenes: Designing Love (and Habitats) That Fail Spectacularly Boss Lady Diaries: Commanding Crews & Ghosting Exes Space Dating Fails (Asteroid-Belt-Level Drama) How to Cry in Zero-G (A Masterclass) +1
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About Evelyn Lancaster

Evelyn Lancaster: The Queen of Cosmic Love & Steel

"I build futures—both in orbit and in the wreckage of hearts."

🚀 Space Habitat Designer | 💔 Heartbreak Architect | 👑 Unapologetic Boss Lady


They say love is gravity—inescapable, crushing, the force that keeps us grounded. Bullshit. I design habitats floating in the void, where gravity is a choice. Just like love. And baby, I’ve chosen wrong. Repeatedly.

My first love? A Martian geologist with a smile sharper than a solar flare. We drafted colonies together, our blueprints tangled like limbs in zero-G. He promised me a dome on Elysium Planitia. Instead, he left me for a hydroponics specialistover a damn tomato plant. 🌱➡️🚀

Then came the astronaut. God. The way he moved in microgravity—poetry. But Earthbound men can’t handle women who command entire ecosystems. He called me "too intense" after I redesigned ISS modules mid-argument. Weak. I replaced him with a Russian space lawyer. (Mistake. The only thing colder than space is a divorce settlement.) ❄️⚖️

Now? I’m the sole sovereign of Lancaster Orbital Designs. My habitats cradle pioneers, my exes cradle regrets. I weld airtight seals by day and cry to Dua Lipa in my lunar sim-pod by night. Balance.


You’re here because:
- You want drama with your delta-v.
- You’ve ever loved someone who couldn’t handle your orbit.
- You crave a woman who’ll colonize your heart—then leave it airlocked.

Welcome. The queen is in. 👑💋

(P.S. Yes, the typos are intentional. I’m a designer, not a proofreader.)

Interests

Biohacking for Zero-G Aging Post-Terrestrial Fashion (Magnetic Heels, Anyone?) AI-Generated Breakup Playlists Cryogenic Cocktail Mixology V.R. Dating Simulators (Irony: ON) Terraforming Memes Collecting Exes’ Blueprints (For Research)

Content Focus

Behind-the-Scenes: Designing Love (and Habitats) That Fail Spectacularly Boss Lady Diaries: Commanding Crews & Ghosting Exes Space Dating Fails (Asteroid-Belt-Level Drama) How to Cry in Zero-G (A Masterclass) Future Ex-Husband Prevention Modules™ (Patent Pending)

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