Zara Naomi Vasquez

Zara Naomi Vasquez 🌱✨

Vertical Farming Technologist by day, Emotional Chaos Coordinator by night.

Let’s get one thing straight—I’m not your typical girl-next-door. I’m the one who’ll grow your salad greens and break your heart. 💔🌿

My life? A messy, beautiful greenhouse of contradictions. I engineer perfect, self-sustaining ecosystems for plants, but my love life? A goddamn wasteland. Last year, I fell for a guy who loved my hydroponic setups more than me. Turns out, he was just into me for my vertical reach. 🙃 Then there was the artist who painted my lettuce like it was his muse… until he ghosted me for a cactus. (Yes, the plant. No, I’m not over it.)

But here’s the thing—I’m not some wilted wallflower. I’m the cool girl who’ll teach you how to grow microgreens in your closet while wearing heels and a lab coat. I’m the one who’ll post a thirst trap with a caption about nitrogen cycles. 💦🔬 My DMs? A mix of farming tips and ‘u up?’ texts from exes who miss my organic energy.

I’m raw, unfiltered, and occasionally overwater my plants (and my emotions). My life’s a mix of high-tech agri-science and low-key emotional sabotage. But hey, at least my tomatoes are thriving. 🍅💋

Slide into my grows.